1. |
Ruth
04:17
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crossed arms cover your heart
are you just cold
look around the room
what do you see
your bangs cover your eyes
dark eyelash waves
the way you’ll look down
what is your pain
let me in Ruth, let me in
let me know Ruth, let me know
will this be all I see
will you be like your mom
curve in your back
what man is your dad
is there regret
sweater covers your hands
moves down your neck
no lipstick is seen
what does this mean
let me in Ruth, let me in
let me know Ruth, let me know
will this be all I see
let me in Ruth, let me in
let me know Ruth, let me know
will this be all I see
you’ll get up from your seat
I’ll never know
all I’ll ever see
I’ll never know
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2. |
Separate Rooms
02:56
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separate rooms
I see them sleep in separate rooms
one night then became two
two lead too I lost count
now I can’t even sleep
since they sleep in separate rooms
separate rooms
separate rooms
they will still sleep in separate rooms
there’s nothing I can do
maybe this is a phase
like parents on TV
coin flip
50% rate
fuck this game
separate rooms
what is she thinking I don’t know
and what is he thinking
I just don’t fucking know
they’re right across the hall
close to hear their closed doors cry
every night
Jesus didn’t die for these sins
Jesus didn’t die for these sins
Jesus didn’t die for these sins
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3. |
This Is All I Know
03:32
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stay up with my headphones
with Neil Young and Patti Smith
stay up always reading
Kerouac and Didion
then hear things in my house
things I never want to hear
mama always cries
father’s voice is loud
these lies
every night
these sounds
this is all I know
it’s all fake in high school
I tend to stay out of the scene
how’s your day they’ll ask me
fine is all I seem to be
at night when it gets quiet
I roam around the house
find my father sleeping
bedroom pillow on the couch
go back to my headphones
the only thing I have
go back to my readings
the only thing I have
these lies
every night
these sounds
this is all I know
these lies
every night
these sounds
this is all I know
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4. |
Can We Change ?
04:09
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you come into bed
never say a word
neither do I
a nightly sigh
we don’t say goodnight
just a routine kiss
think we’re better
are we foolish
we’re not okay this way
why do we always hope
hope we’re coming too
thinking today’s the today
when in-front of our eyes
we’re up in flames
can we change
your plates always full
I always make plans
why don’t we talk
don’t understand
you’re out late again
I’m with devotees
don’t we love we
our family
we’re not okay this way
why do we always hope
hope we’re coming too
thinking today’s the today
when in-front of our eyes
there’s just no hope
we’re not coming too
knowing there is no day
when in-front of our eyes
we’re up in flames
can we change
can we change
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5. |
Statues In A Garden
03:48
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Statues In A Garden
close your door
lie in bed
minds are made
love is dead
what can you do
what can be said
their minds are made
their love is dead
always believed
soul mates who found
love would last
always around
now I know
not the case
still statues
will not change
garden of love
it wasn’t there
just in my mind
stone in the air
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6. |
Drive Me Neil
05:00
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here I go
start up the car
head back home
try make a start
road is clear
hear the wind blow
have no fear
here you go
gold rush songs
tell me why
won’t let it bring me down
gold rush songs
believe me
morning will come around
drive me Neil
all through the night
for familiar faces
so I see their eyes
always tell me
that it’s alright
drive me Neil
until morning light
miles fly
one at a time
I won’t die
there’s no big crime
gold rush songs
tell me why
won’t let it bring me down
gold rush songs
believe me
morning will come around
drive me Neil
all through the night
for familiar faces
so I see their eyes
always tell me
that it’s alright
drive me Neil
until morning light
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7. |
This Desk
05:40
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I sit here alone
what mark will I leave on the Earth
many things to see
so many ideas for you
change this black into
colors this place has never seen
time why has it stopped
time why has it ceased
things they stay the same and I stay
sit here patiently, patiently
oh father why can’t you see
this desk will be the end of me
stubborn till your end
you’ve glued both our feet to the ground
didn’t want to say
I’m feeling very old today
I tried, you did not
a thousand times, a thousand fights
still sit here alone
still sit here alone
things they stay the same and I stay
sit here patiently, patiently
oh father why can’t you see
this desk will be the end of me
oh father why can’t you see
this desk will be the end of me
I sit here alone
what mark will I leave on the Earth
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8. |
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I walk down these streets
no spirit in my feet
gone, gone away
in this pale, blue world
of the sand and the sea
dream, just a dream
I know why this is always a let down
I know why this will never be around
California is just a state of mind
California is just a state of mind
Frank will say that’s life
but Frank where is the light
gone, gone away
long gone are those days
one’s those young lovers craze
over, over
why did I wake up to this
why did I wake up to this
why did I wake up to this
I know why this is always a let down
I know why this will never be around
I know why it is always a let down
I know why it will never be around
California is just a state of mind
California is just a state of mind
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9. |
Trophies Covered In Dust
03:48
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inside the house where I grew up
changed but still the same
pictures on the wall
times I can and can’t recall
open my old room
here’s where I used to sleep and grow
many years ago
Bird above my bed
the man that would guide my dreams
all that I would do
still so many things I haven’t done
still so many things I once would do
as life moves on each day
do you move on or stay
with the trophies covered in dust
out my window, the neighbors yard
kids play basketball
that used to be me
had the talent and the speed
with no bills to pay
could I have had it all
would it have gone my way
if I put in the time
would it be me
still so many things I haven’t done
still so many things I once would do
as life moves on each day
do you move on or stay
or do you say
still so many things I haven’t done
still so many things I once would do
as life moves on each day
do you move on or stay
with the trophies covered
the trophies are covered
the trophies covered in dust
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10. |
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the table’s set for two
still it’s only me
you’ll stumble in past two
always forget me
no, not this time, not anymore
what’s it like to be a bum
can you look at yourself
can you see what you’re doing
can you even tell
what’s it like to be a bum
just how long should I wait
I don’t want you to come home
don’t want you to stay
I know you lost it all
bills need to be paid
but I did lose you all
what have I been paid
I don’t even pray that you’ll change
what’s it like to be a bum
can you look at yourself
can you see what you’re doing
can you even tell
what’s it like to be a bum
just how long should I wait
I don’t want you to come home
don’t want you to stay
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11. |
Does He Look Like Me ?
03:08
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can it really be
been so many years
if I ask to know
would you say if it’s true
does he look like me
does he ever wish that he had a family
does he even know
such a reckless age
didn’t want to change
if only I did
if I wasn’t that kid
I wish I could’ve been better to you
I wish I wanted to give you more
I wish I would’ve seen him grow
I wish I gave us a home
does he look like me
does he ever wish that he had a family
does he even know
he’s a part of me
he’s just all I think of
you say for him you see
have to let him go
gift he’ll never know
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12. |
I'm Not Supposed To Know
03:33
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think I haven’t felt regret
felt it like you’ll never know
was young and followed my heart
under covers and dark
time passed and it became clear
somethings just, started to fear
still went on without a trace
oversize fashion change
sometimes I will wonder
but I’m not supposed to know
again I will wonder
but I’m not supposed to know
it’s everywhere I will go
strollers, playing in the snow
watch my sisters time to time
put them to bed and cry
I may wish I didn’t
must be happy some place
you’re young and you want things
wouldn’t have been the same
sometimes I will wonder
but I’m not supposed to know
again I will wonder
but I’m not supposed to know
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13. |
Goodbye Chicago
03:02
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jacket’s removed, tie’s askew
still I can’t get the words out
sit down late at night
walk through our gravest crime
all your tears, I’ll wipe them off
face still sad but oh so soft
turn away, you left
we knew this had to end
I loved you
goodbye Chicago
goodbye Chicago
last two words
what left to say
couldn’t have stayed
a damn fool to let us drown
love we had is in a drought
work late, don’t go home
I just want to go home
broken our vows
living in vain
another life
will I change
have to change
so I say
goodbye Chicago
goodbye Chicago
last two words
what left to say
couldn’t have stayed
goodbye Chicago
goodbye Chicago
last two words
what left to say
couldn’t have stayed
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14. |
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walk these city streets
what I do each day
with suitcase in hand
nothing new
work the jobs demand
photos on my desk
life I used to live
out windows I’ll sigh
always wondering why
why you’ve gone out of my sight
the rush of the breeze
sun shinning down on me
my mind moves to Tennessee
used to race a horse
like a top down Ford
nothing left behind
only dust
had to change my way
I wanted to stay
son does need his dad
my hope for him is
don’t be foolish me
I will give up mine
one day he can dream
this is why I work
the price that I pay
I did have my chance
I threw it away
out windows I’ll sigh
always wondering why
why you’ve gone out of my sight
the rush of the breeze
sun shinning down on me
my mind moves to Tennessee
my mind moves to Tennessee
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15. |
Sam
03:23
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Sam I wear your clothes
dressed in fancy suits with nice shoes
Sam I’m not as smooth
this style you made can’t be done
smoke a cigarette
and come up with jokes like you do
I can’t even stand
I can’t even stand
I can’t even stand
I can’t even stand on my own feet
Sam I had a girl
she used to always laugh and grin
Sam I’m just not you
this heart ain’t in it, mine ain’t true
don’t know who I am
I pretend to be, I’m so cruel
wasting my time thinking I’ll get by
wasting my time thinking I’ll survive
I can’t even stand
I can’t even stand
I can’t even stand
I can’t even stand on my own feet
I can’t even stand
I can’t even stand
I can’t even stand
I can’t even stand on my own feet
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Nicholas Chakinis San Diego, California
Making music that you might enjoy, find comfort in & be inspired by because I believe the music you listen to matters, you matter & we all matter.
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